Love in Action: From Insecurity to “I Can” in the Cake Therapy Kitchen
By Dr. Altreisha Foster-Bentho, Founder & President, Cake Therapy Foundation
Owner: Sugarspoon Desserts
Author: Cake Therapy: How Baking Changed My Life
Host: The Cake Therapy Podcast
www.altreishafoster.com
February is often filled with pink hearts, candy, and conversations about love. Everywhere you look, there are reminders about romance and relationships.
But in the Cake Therapy kitchen, we focus on a different kind of love , the kind that starts inside.
Before we decorate cupcakes, we build confidence. Before our girls learn how to love someone else, we teach them how to love themselves.
Where It All Began
Before Cake Therapy became a foundation, it started with something simple: a bag of flour, a Betty Crocker cake mix, and a baking tin.
I didn’t walk into the kitchen feeling confident. I carried doubt and fear of failure. I questioned whether I was talented enough, creative enough, or capable enough. But through trying, learning, and trying again, the kitchen became the place where my insecurities were slowly healed and my confidence was born.
Some things burned. Some didn’t turn out right. Some didn’t look like the picture. But I kept going. With every attempt, I learned that growth doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from persistence.
Through baking, I discovered that I didn’t have to be flawless to be powerful. I just had to be willing.
What Our Girls Bring With Them
Today, many of our girls walk into Cake Therapy sessions carrying similar doubts.
Some are afraid to try because they don’t want to make mistakes. Some hesitate to participate because they worry about being judged. Some stay quiet because they’ve learned that it’s safer not to stand out.
Not because they lack ability.
Because they’ve learned to question themselves.
Many of our girls arrive with stories that have taught them to shrink, to compare, and to doubt their own brilliance. Our job is to help them unlearn those messages and replace them with confidence, courage, and self-belief.
So we meet them where they are—with patience, encouragement, and grace.
From “I Can’t” to “I Can”
One of the most powerful moments in our sessions is watching confidence unfold in real time.
A girl who once said, “I can’t,” begins to say, “Let me try.” A participant who was afraid to make mistakes learns that errors are part of the process. A quiet observer becomes a leader who helps others.
We celebrate effort before perfection. We honor courage before results. We remind our girls that every attempt is a step forward.
Slowly, their language changes. Their posture changes. Their energy changes.
“I can’t” becomes “Let me try.”
“Let me try” becomes “I did it.”
“I did it” becomes “What’s next?”
That confidence doesn’t stay in the kitchen. It follows our girls into classrooms, friendships, leadership roles, and future dreams.
Letters to Our Younger Selves
Reflection is a powerful part of healing, and it is something we intentionally weave into our work.
We often ask our girls to think about what they would say to their younger selves what encouragement they wish they had received, and what truths they are now learning about themselves.
Here’s mine:
Dear Younger Me,
You are allowed to try.
You are allowed to grow.
You don’t have to be perfect.
Your hands are capable.
Your voice matters.
Your dreams are valid.
Love,
The Woman You’re Becoming
One of our girls recently shared, “I didn’t know I was good at anything until I came here.”
Another said, “Now I’m not scared to mess up. I just try again.”
These reflections remind us that what happens in our kitchen is deeper than baking. It is about identity. It is about healing. It is about helping girls see themselves clearly for the first time.
The Impact Behind the Moments
Behind every decorated cupcake is real growth.
Through Cake Therapy, our girls develop stronger communication skills, greater emotional awareness, and increased confidence in trying new things. They learn how to work together, support one another, and advocate for themselves.
Between 2024 and 2025, we served approximately 75 girls across Minnesota from lower socioeconomic backgrounds. Each session created a safe space where learning, healing, and leadership could grow side by side.
This is what happens when girls are given consistent support and meaningful opportunity.
What Love Really Looks Like
Love isn’t just flowers and cards.
Love looks like showing up every week. It looks like creating safe spaces. It looks like providing tools, encouragement, and opportunity. It looks like believing in girls before they believe in themselves.
Love looks like a young girl realizing she is capable.
Love looks like confidence rising with every recipe.
Love looks like a future being rewritten one cupcake at a time.
Join Us in This Work
As we move through this season of hearts and holidays, we invite you to see love differently.
See it in classrooms.
See it in kitchens.
See it in community.
See it in girls learning to say, “I can.”
When you support Cake Therapy, you are not just funding a program.
You are funding confidence. You are funding courage. You are funding healing. You are funding possibility.
And that kind of love lasts far beyond February.
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